∞ 10/27/2011 (4:37am) 28 notes

Happy Birthday Brody…

I love your Tumblr. When I’m rich and famous, I’m going to buy a farm with all of [y]our[my] favorite animals. Please feel free to stay there whenever you want… feed the elephants, cuddle the cucumbers, and make sure my owls and parrots don’t argue to much… Parrots talk a lot [because, you know, an animal that imitates sound waves of a human [that, hypothetically, talks a lot] will unfortunately talk [a lot]], and the Owls prefer a silent night of occasional Woot’s and Hoot’s. The baby sloths and koalas are really friendly, and they love company and someone to hold them. The Gorilla’s are surprisingly friendly too, if you stay at least 40 feet away and smile politely in their direction without making eye contact. You used to be able to high five them before my shoe shiner took them to the Planet of the Apes premiere. Now they like to think they rule the world and they won’t give me a high five until James Franco gives them a hug and tells them “It will be all right, daddy’s here,” even though I tell them that they aren’t even blood-related to James Franco they just won’t listen to me! It’s like they don’t even understand what I am speaking to them! Anyway, a pack of chameleons just came in [or did they?]. I feel like they did, I always feel like I’m being watched when I walk by their cage.

The Saraha is really nice. I love the lions because they almost rhyme with my name. I named one Aslan, but my shoe shiner spelled his name wrong on the adoption papers, so it is spelled Nala… I still call him Aslan though. I always brag about how I have a Liger, but I just painted one of the lions Orange with black stripes, and his name is Liger. He doesn’t like me for some reason… But there’s a beautiful spot for the Elephants, and they are the cuddling types, most of my animals are.

Don’t go near the Hippo’s. They are super friendly, I just don’t want you to go near them. There’s only two of them, a baby and daddy… I bet you have no idea what their names are…

If you ever need to visit my arctic wildnerness place, its in the frozen-climate controlled area of my farm… penguins, domesticated polar bears, and Orca Whales are waiting for you. You might find a snow leopard too, but apparently they aren’t too acquainted with frosty blizzards, so it might be my polar bears next meal. Whatever.

There is much more than this that my super farm-home has to offer… I am just too lazy to type it all out.

Happy Birthday… if I’m rich and famous by the time its your golden birthday, this is all yours. Love you and miss you. I will see you this Christmas.

#broderick#byron#betz#littlebrother#birthday#animals#dream#home

Notes (28)

  1. brodyisnotadiva said: I’m holding you to all of this… You’ve got 8 years til my golden birthday. Go.
  2. bryanbybetz posted this