Change.
In an attempt to avoid a complacent lifestyle and increase my productivity and self-discipline, I spent 4 hours setting up a set day-to-day, hour-to-hour schedule on Google Calender. I also made it public in an attempt to be transparent, honest, and available.
I synced the Google Calender to my Thunderbolt [my phone] so it will give me notifications on what I need to work on and focus on next. It is super convenient to copy my work schedule to it as well because it is also Google Calender.
Tomorrow is very busy, and starts at 6 in the morning.
Tomorrow will look like this:
6:30am-7:15am - Wake up/Devotionals.
7:20am-7:30am - Breakfast/Prepare to Exercise.
7:30am-8:30am -Exercise.
8:30am-9:00am - Letter to Rec. Bosses.
9:00am-9:30am - Shower.
9:30am-10:00am - Call Crafton.
10:00am-10:30am - E-mail Bonnie.
10:30am-11:00am - Go to Forest Home.
11:00am-11:45am - Fall Cleaning #1.
11:45am-1:00pm - Lunch.
1:00pm-2:00pm - Fall Cleaning #1 [con’t].
2:00pm-3:00pm - Call Dad
3:00pm-6:00pm - TBD
6:00pm-7:00pm - Dinner.
7:00pm-9:00pm - TBD.
9:00pm-10:00pm - Bed/Devotionals.
It is very tedious, and probably very unnecessary, but I like unnecessary, overly-specific details, and for me to make a schedule like this is very important. I need to make sure I use my time wisely, especially at this time in my life where I am living with roommates and life is tough due to slow work, low pay, and a lot of free time on my hands. Since I don’t have a car, another job would be very difficult. My current job, Forest Home, is easily within walking distance.
Now, the best thing about this whole deal is that I’m very easy-going, and I enjoy spontaneity, so if something occurs and the schedule doesn’t go completely and precisely as planned, I won’t mind. I am going to strive to commit to every minute, making it count as best as I can, trying to make sure what is scheduled goes accordingly.
This is a huge step, just setting this up. It’ll be even more difficult actually committing to it. If I can get the routine going, I think a lot of things will be different.
On Monday we finally got a fridge at our place, and on Friday we all get paid so we can go Grocery shopping. 90% of my purchases will be extremely healthy, and the 10% will not be sweets, but just general meal entrees that aren’t the healthiest but ones that I love [cereal, capri-sun, bacon, hash browns, pizza rolls, red meat, etc.]. I’ll be eating a lot of protein as well [lots of eggs and chicken], which will help with the exercise a ton… I should be back to my high school self sooner than later [which was very fit, believe it or not (#leanmuscleftw)].
I have made some mistakes in terms of my tardiness with work, which my boss made clear to me today. A few of the situations were out of my control, but a few solely my fault, and it is fully my responsibility to make sure I’m on time. Recently I’ve stepped up, but not soon enough to where my boss had to discuss it with me, unfortunately.
The first few times I was late, was during the time in-between living as a Residential Employee at Forest Home [living on-site and working] and living in a my new, actual home. I was living at a temporary place which was about a ten minute drive from Forest Home. Those few times I had a friend offered me a ride to work, but unfortunately he did not commit to them and I was late.
The other few times were the moments when I slipped up. I failed to make it to work on time due to sleeping in, losing track of time, or forgetting I had work [a terrible attention span will do that to you].
Thankfully, as I have previously articulated, my work schedule syncs to my phone, and after next paycheck [not this upcoming Friday, but in two weeks] I’m getting a special battery plug-in cover that connects to the back of my phone and gives it double the battery life, exactly what I need in order to use it as often as I’ll need to and have it be more reliable in notifying me of scheduled and planned events [the Thunderbolt is an amazing phone, but unfortunately it dies extremely fast].
Soon, I’ll be able to add trips to Los Angeles to do Stand-up and Improv shows to get my name out there as a performer and entertainer… maybe even get an agent or an audition for a great movie.
My Hopes:
I hope that I will grow… physically, spiritually, and mentally. I want to be healthy, I want to be wise, and I want to efficient in everything I do. I am going to pray about my future a lot. I want to perform and be a light where there barely is any… Hollywood. I hope and pray God will bless me if, and only if, I pursue it solely with the intent of bringing Him glory, and if I truly work heard for it. This is the first step to doing it. I don’t want to just pray and lie lazily in bed waiting for someone to come up to my door in the middle of the forest/mountains and say, “Hey, I heard you are sort of funny, here’s a billion bucks.” I’d love that, but I would rather earn it… which is really tough to say. I’ve been lazy. I’ve slept in a lot, stayed up late for no reason, played too many video games, wasted too many hours looking at a blank laptop screen waiting for words to flow that never will. I want that to change. I want to be wiser with my money, and not spend so much on unhealthy, overly-expensive foods and not on things I won’t need despite their usefulness [like a dresser when I have a nice close]. They are wants, not needs. I can credit my best friend for that. But I want to be wiser in all my decisions, and I want to grow in my relationship with God and omit anything hindering me from growing closer to Him.
My character has swayed a lot since I moved to Alabama. My heart has hardened and become less innocent, due to fake and dishonest Christians. I became less tolerant of hypocrisy, which is good, but I need to remember everything I need to work on and avoid the very thing that I despise most [and this entire post is just a small dose of what I need to work on]. I can’t stand hypocrisy, judging people, and laziness. And I have been completely lazy, somewhat hypocritical, and occasionally judging people. I haven’t treated my roommates with the respect they deserve. I have been rude, touchy, and easily-aggravated by things that NEVER bothered me before. It all has to do with this complacent and lazy mode I have been in… I hated life in Alabama, and whenever I hated life in the past I wouldn’t treat myself the way I should be treating myself, and I didn’t treat Family the way they deserved to be treated as a result of that. Now, I live a place I’m getting excited about living in [I have been especially since I got the Organ and an actual, legitimate Refrigerator, so now I can get groceries!], but I’ve been lazy, eating awfully, and my writing hasn’t been going well [which is a huge factor], and that translates in treating myself even worse via worse eating habits [eating too much crap basically], and disliking how my life is going, knowing I’m on the course of going nowhere due to lack of funds to go to school, and because my writing is going awfully, the potential of my stand-up AND/OR music career is fading each day. It all contributes how I view myself, my world, and my life, etc., and it contributes to how I treat those I live with [I have discovered]. I have been treating my parents and brothers much better than before [distance makes the heart grow fonder], but as I have previously articulated that the way I have been treating my roommates hasn’t been acceptable. It’s not like I’m yelling at them, saying mean things about them, etc.; but I’m being rude to them and snappy. They deserve better, and any sort of negativity I bring to the table is unacceptable, because it isn’t me, and I won’t let it become part of who I am.
I have a lot of changing to do. Thankfully dating is not on my schedule. It’d be a huge distraction. I think I’m open to it, because if it’s God’s will, then it will be done… but I am not pursuing anyone unless God reveals it to me. I have other things to focus on, important areas in my life I need to change, obviously.
I am probably not as bad as I think, but I’d rather not justify it by comparing myself to someone else who is worse than me [in reality, no one is perfect and we all sin, so really I’m even with everyone anyway], but even one negative characteristic is unacceptable [and I currently have many]. Especially for the life I am pursuing, I want to be transparent and a great representation of a true disciple, though very imperfect. I’ll be on fire constantly, and I need to hold myself accountable.
I have more to say, but my matress is calling my name, and the later I stay up, the worse condition I’ll be to start what needs to be started tomorrow.
Love,
B’ry.
